Today I nuked a number of online accounts, most notably my Facebook and SG accounts.
Of late I’ve simply been experiencing too many triggers, events that bring back all-too-real memories of past traumas, and I have been continuously on the verge of losing my shit.
Getting close to people unhinges me. It’s as if falling in love, instead of being a happy occasion, becomes a narrow road fraught with loose boulders and traps. Two decades of dealing, mostly successfully, with childhood abuse come crashing down around my ears the moment I feel I’m in a position of vulnerability. When I need to open up I balk, rear up or run. (Or all three.)
So, I just want to hide away for a while. Minimise my contact with people.
Maybe one day I can heal this.Date: July 23, 2012
Author: Diaan Mynhardt